what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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