Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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