note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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