sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
