Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
