thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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