i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
