my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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