I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
