Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
