Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she looked like the before picture.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
