dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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