You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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