never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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