do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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