Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
