I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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