That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
