i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
