you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
