Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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