i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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