My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
