Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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