Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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