His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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