At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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