he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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