i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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