so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
