in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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