i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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