I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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