Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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