my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
