I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
