He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
honey bunches of taint.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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