So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
