weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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