The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude. I can hear the air.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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