"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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