Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
