dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize