I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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