I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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