Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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