He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
