love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
