end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
