there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
