Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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