he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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