How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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