yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
