Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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