I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
