dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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