# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
